Married To A Non-Christian

If you are married to a non-Christian spouse, things can even get harder. When you are a Christian you want so badly to have a Christian home. Both parents and children going to church, praying together, and loving God together. Women are told to allow the man to be the head of the house, while their job is to take care of the home and children. If the husband is not a Christian, he is like a blind man leading the blind, you both fall into the ditch. How can he lead if he is living for himself and not God? How can he support the wife or children with questions about scripture if he doesn’t read the Bible? If he lives a life that is not pleasing to God, how can he be an example to his wife or children? The Scriptures tell us that as believers we should marry a believer. So many reasons why it’s best to not marry if you both are not grounded in God, I don’t care to write a book. But if you both are not Christians and one of you become a Christian later, then it can be a blessing, not a nightmare. Let’s take a look at a few problems first.

The Nightmare Part – Yes, it is hard to be in a marriage when you are both living different lives. This can cause all sorts of problems, because you are not connecting to you spouse. As a Christian your world revolves around God, which can often make the spouse resentful or jealous, because they are not first in line. Maybe you and your spouse no longer sit and watch the same television programs or like the same music. Maybe you choose not to go with your spouse to a nightclub or other activities that may be contrary to your beliefs. The non-believing spouse may seek companionship in someone that shares their interests which can lead to adultery. They may become argumentative or distant, they may try to spend the least amount of time possible with you. They may do things to try and get you to ‘lighten’ up, or persuade you to ‘have fun the way you use to.’ If you first shared the same interests which is what attracted you to each other, the spouse is still living how you both may have lived. They are probably looking at you like you are the problem not them and it’s all your fault.

First and foremost, don’t push them, sometimes that makes a person run faster. If you and your spouse can sit and communicate with each other then there can be a peaceful solution. Let your spouse know that you are not going to judge or push them. But just as you respect them and their feelings, they should respect yours. Find common interests of things you can do together that won’t conflict with serving God. Instead of the nightclub scene, go camping together, take a cooking class together, there are a numbers of things that won’t interfere with your faithfulness to God. Make time for each other and keep things on a positive note, laughter helps a lot. Show your spouse that Christians are allowed to still have fun, it just may be a different type of fun. Let your spouse know what you feel comfortable with and what you don’t. But also allow them to tell you the same. It’s a compromise, without compromising your faith.

In 1 Corinthians 7 - We are told that as long as the unbelieving spouse wishes to remain with the believing spouse (allowing the Christian spouse to follow God), then it’s fine to stay together, sometimes the actions or words of a believer can change the heart of the non-believing.

The Blessing - You have found God! You have chosen to live for Him and received Jesus Christ as your Savior. You were blind, and now you see. You have the Holy Spirit, your helper dwelling in you right now. You are no longer lost, searching to find that peaceful assurance that now we have in God. We always have God with us, loving us as a Father loves his child. You can lead by example all the good things of the spirit of Christ. Patience, meekness, forgiveness, compassion, and love. You can feel God’s presence and see the blessings in your life. You can tell others of all that you continually learn about God and through prayer lead others to Christ. With your love for God, the Holy Spirit is creating a new you, a better you. Less stress or worry, because we know that God is in charge. We feel more love towards others because we have more compassion. We awaken each day having confidence in our salvation and spending eternity with a loving God. If God dwells in you then you must continue to walk in faith and allow God to handle the things you pray for.

God does not guarantee that you will not have trials, but God is watching how you handle them.

When you ask God to give you patience, instead of Him giving you patience, perhaps he presents a situation where you need to be patient. Which in turn strengthens you to learn more patience. When you ask Him to help you with your anger, perhaps God presents an opportunity for you to curb your anger. Your actions must glorify God in everything you do or say. If you are a Christian you are representing Christ, or being Christ-like. Therefore, let your light shine. If your loved one doesn’t want to hear you talk to them about God, that’s alright. You must continue to walk in God, and don’t allow temptation to lead you astray. Study your Bible, go to church, have Christian friends. Seek to strengthen your relationship to God. Let God take the lead and let God be your focus, and God will work out the rest in due time.

God Bless